Best Intentions

Friday, April 14, 2006 -- Good Friday

"Morning Reflections" is a brief thought about the scripture readings from the Daily Office of Morning and Evening Prayer according to the practice found in the Book of Common Prayer of the Episcopal Church.

Morning Prayer begins on p. 80 of the Book of Common Prayer.
Evening Prayer begins on p. 117

An online resource for praying the Daily Office is found at www.missionstclare.com
Another form of the office from Phyllis Tickle's "Divine Hours" is available on our partner web site www.ExploreFaith.org at this link -- http://explorefaith.org/prayer/fixed/index.html

Today's Readings for the Daily Office (p. 957)
Psalms 22 (morning) // 40:1-14(15-19), 54 (afternoon)
Lamentations 3:1-9, 19-33
1 Peter 1:10-20
John 13:36-38 (morning)
John 19:38-42 (evening)

We have the best of intentions. Most of the time, everybody is doing about the best they can do. All of us have such limited insight. Sometimes we don't have all of the resources we need. Often we lack emotional nourishment. If we had more conscious awareness of what makes us tick, more information and alternatives available to us, different life experiences and more love, support, and and encouragement, we could do better. We could have done better. Given our limited insight, resources, and emotional nourishment, most of us are doing just about as well as we can. And we can fail so miserably.

The Daily Lectionary sets us up so deftly today. We read only a brief morning gospel passage. Three verses. A lot has already happened on this last night. Jesus has washed the feet of the disciples. He has told them that one of them will betray him. Judas has left into the darkness. Jesus says to his friends that they can't come with him on his next journey, and he commands them to love one another. Then we get our three verses.

It's Peter. Impetuous, energetic Peter. "Why can't I follow? I would lay down my life for you?" He means it. Peter is utterly sincere. His best intention would be to stand up to anything on behalf of Jesus. "Very truly, I tell you," says Jesus, "before the cock crows, you will have denied me three times."

Peter is going to fail. He's going to fail himself. He won't live up to his intentions. He won't stand up for his friend like he thought he would. He'll get in over his head. He'll be in a situation he's not prepared for. He won't understand what's happening or why. He'll feel utterly vulnerable and afraid. He'll be alone, his primary source of strength arrested, bound and threatened. The bottom will fall out. He'll do what he thinks he needs to do to survive. Then he will realize what he has done. You can't undo the past. Maybe he'll hear the echo of those words, "One of you will betray me." "Oh, Lord. It was me!"

That was a night of two betrayals. But they come to such different ends. Judas realized what he had done and despaired. Peter realized what he had done and kept living with it long enough to realize and accept forgiveness. He got other chances to live up to his best intentions. He became "the Rock" on which Jesus would establish his church. According to legend, eventually he was able to follow Jesus and lay down his life for him. Once he had a little more insight and resources and emotional depth. He lived up to his promises. But not today.