Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The Dark Night

Tuesday, December 14, 2010 -- Week of 3 Advent, Year One
Juan de la Cruz (John of the Cross)
To read about our daily commemorations, go to our Holy Women, Holy Men blog:
http://liturgyandmusic.wordpress.com/category/holy-women-holy-men/

Today's Readings for the Daily Office
(Book of Common Prayer, p 938)
Psalms 45 (morning)       47, 48 (evening)
Isaiah 9:1-7 
2 Peter 1:12-21 
Luke 22:54-69 

That look.  What must it have felt like? 

It's easy to like Peter, maybe even to identify with him.  He's so impulsive.  Full of energy and occasional bravado.  He's the one who sees Jesus walking on water and wants to try it too.  He's the one who answered when Jesus asked the group, "Who do you say that I am?"  He followed his intuition -- "You are the Messiah!"  Good answer, Peter.  But in the next breath, when Peter tries to shield Jesus from suffering, he's rebuffed with those hard words, "Get thee behind me Satan."  Peter is so human.  He does his best, but sometimes gets out of his depths.

Earlier in this chapter from Luke's gospel, Jesus tried to warn Peter of the coming trial.  "Simon, Simon, listen!  Statan has demanded to sift all of you like wheat, but I have prayed that your own faith may not fail; and you, when once you have turned back, strengthen your brothers."  Peter's answer -- full of hope and bravado -- "Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death!"  He meant it.  I don't doubt that a moment.  In his heart and mind he was ready.  But humans can be so fragile.  We can be broken.  Jesus knows.  "I tell you Peter, the cock will not crow this day, until you have denied three times that you know me."

It is now later that night.  A dark night.  Judas has betrayed them to the officials.  Jesus has been arrested and carried away.  Peter follows at a distance.  He would like to remain unknown.  Maybe it is his Galilean clothing or accent that betray him, but someone says he knows the prisoner.  "Woman, I do not know him."  Three times he has to deny any connection with Jesus.  On the third denial, the cock crows.  Then, the look.  The scripture says, "The Lord turned and looked at Peter."  Oh.  What would that have felt like?  Humans can be so fragile.  We can be broken.  Judas, their friend and companion, has already broken.  Now Peter...?  "And he went out and wept bitterly."

It is all darkness from here.  Beatings, hazing.  "Enhanced Interrogation Techniques" and "Extraordinary Rendition" is what our government will call it.  Torture is the common term.  It is ugly.  Evil.  Painful and horrid.  There is no escape.  This will only end with a slow death.  At the moment when it counted the most, Peter has failed his beloved friend so miserably.  And Jesus knows that he has failed.  That look.

Out of darkness comes light.  Our prophesy from Isaiah opens, saying, "The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who lived in a land of deep darkness -- on them light has shined."  He speaks of a future day and a future king.  After the "rod of the oppressor" and the "boots of the tramping warriors."  He imagines a child born; a child with authority.  "And he is named Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."  He will establish "endless peace... with justice and with righteousness... forevermore."

We shift to a writer assuming Peter's name, writing maybe a hundred years after Peter's dark night of denial.  "So we have the prophetic message more fully confirmed.  You will do well to be attentive to this as to a lamp shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts."

Today we have the proposed feast of John of the Cross.  It may be hard for us to imagine, but John was confined in a prison-like atmosphere and tortured not unlike Jesus for introducing more strict monastic practices into a religious order.  Severely isolated in a tiny cell barely large enough for his body, publicly whipped weekly before his community, he suffered hardship for months, dark months.  There he wrote most of his famous poem "Spiritual Canticle."  After nine months he managed to pry the cell door off its hinges, and he escaped.  All of his writing thereafter reflected his harsh sufferings and spiritual endeavors in that prison.  He wrote a map of the spiritual journey.  Central and critical places on that map are the "Dark Nights" of the sense and of the soul.

Peter went out and wept bitterly.  He probably prayed.  He probably felt no consolation from his prayer.  Such a failure.  And with the coming crucifixion and death, all was lost.  It was enough to make his colleague Judas so despondent that he took his own life.  I imagine Peter weighed that option too.

But Peter didn't insist on being in control.  He didn't act.  He didn't kill himself.  He stayed with the misery, helplessness and hopelessness.  He lived in the Dark Night.  He lived long enough to see the dawn.

There is a passage in John's gospel where the risen Christ meets Peter alone, back on the shore of Lake Galilee.  Peter could have fled.  His guilt might have stopped this encounter.  "Conscience doth make cowards of us all," Shakespeare wrote.  But he stayed there and faced Jesus.  He faced the questions.  Three of them.  "Peter, do you love me?"  "Yes.  You know I love you."  Three times Jesus asked.  Three times Peter answered the same way.  But oh, how increasingly painful each answer must have been.  He had denied Jesus three times.  Now Jesus asks him to affirm him three times.  What purging anguish must that have provoked. 

With each loving affirmation, Jesus commissioned Peter:  "Feed my lambs; tend my sheep."  Peter is forgiven, healed and empowered.  He will become the Rock on which Christ will establish his Church.

It all comes out of darkness.  The blessing of dawn comes through the darkness.  We just have to remember that when all we know is darkness.

Lowell
__________________

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"Morning Reflections" is a brief thought about the scripture readings from the Daily Office of Morning and Evening Prayer according to the practice found in the Book of Common Prayer of the Episcopal Church.

Morning Prayer begins on p. 80 of the Book of Common Prayer.
Evening Prayer begins on p. 117
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The Mission of St. Paul's Episcopal Church
is to explore and celebrate
God's infinite grace, acceptance, and love.

See our Web site at www.stpaulsfay.org

Our Rule of Life: 
We aspire to...
    worship weekly
    pray daily
    learn constantly
    serve joyfully 
    live generously.

Lowell Grisham, Rector
St. Paul's Episcopal Church
Fayetteville, Arkansas



2 Comments:

At 11:08 AM, Anonymous janet said...

from Fr. John-Julian, OJN - Stars in a Dark World:

..while faith for John [of the Cross] was central to his description of the dark night of the soul, love for Jesus was for him the "secret light" by which one is guided through inner darkness to divine union.

Peace and light,
Janet

 
At 7:51 AM, Blogger Lowell said...

That's a beautiful quote.

I'm moved by the story of Mother Teresa, who lived most of her life in a Dark Night, yet motivated by an extraordinary love of Jesus.

Lowell

 

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