I Surrender

Tuesday, March 24, 2009 -- Week of 4 Lent, Year One

Today's Readings for the Daily Office (Book of Common Prayer, p. 954)
Psalms 97, 99, [100] (morning) 94, 95 (evening)
Jeremiah 17:19-27
Romans 7:13-25
John 6:16-27

"I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do."

All of us have behaviors and compulsions that seem beyond our power of will. Our efforts of self-improvement may reach out to reform us for a while, but it is like pulling an unbreakable rubber band. We try and we try; but when the will relaxes its strong grip for only a moment, we pop back into the same old destructive ditch we've been stuck in so many times before. Only now, we have a bit more guilt of another failure to absorb as we attempt willfully to wrestle our compulsive natures into compliance.

Notice how willful all of this is. Notice how singular, isolated and individualistic it is. This is the existential being, alone with his tragic flaws and solitary struggles, intent on mastering nature, which is, ironically, his own nature.

"Wretched man that I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

Part of the wisdom of Alcoholics Anonymous is that the first step into freedom is to admit that we are powerless over our addictions which make our lives unmanageable. Our will is simply not up to the task of overcoming our compulsions. Our will sleeps from time to time. Our compulsions do not need rest. They are ready to pounce at any moment of weakness or relaxation of vigilance. Perpetual vigilance is wretched indeed.

"Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!" Surrender becomes the path to freedom. Willingness can gracefully overcome our willfulness. But it takes grace. The second step of AA is we "came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."

We cannot make it on our own. We need a power greater than ourselves. We need God's spirit. We also need community. We need others who support us, hold us accountable, forgive us and share our condition of neediness.

Paul found release from the addictive prison of his project to earn his way into God's grace when he gave up trying and accepted God's grace as an unqualified gift. I quit. I give up. I surrender. I can't do this. I can't beat this. My life is unmanageable. Help! God, help me!

What we can't accomplish through our own will power can be given to us through God's grace. When we surrender into God's loving arms, we can accept ourselves as we are and discover space between our compulsion and our behavior. We can watch in weakness, passively unresponsive as the energy that wants to bind us rises within us like fireworks and puts on its emotional show. Trusting in God's strength, we can wait, willingly unresponsive, until the wave passes, surrendering into the mystery of the infinite loving power of God.

Then we can give God thanks. We have done nothing. How wonderful it can be to do nothing. Let go, and let God.

Lowell

_____________________________________________

Audio podcast: Listen to an audio podcast of the most recent Morning Reflections from today and the past week. Click the following link: Morning Reflection Podcasts

About Morning Reflections
Morning Reflections is a brief thought about the scripture readings from the Daily Office of Morning and Evening Prayer according to the practice found in the Book of Common Prayer of the Episcopal Church.

Morning Prayer begins on p. 80 of the Book of Common Prayer.
Evening Prayer begins on p. 117

An online resource for praying the Daily Office is found at www.missionstclare.com
Another form of the office from Phyllis Tickle's "Divine Hours" is available on our partner web site www.ExploreFaith.org at this location -- http://explorefaith.org/prayer/fixed/index.html


The Mission of St. Paul's Episcopal Church
is to explore and celebrate
God's infinite grace, acceptance, and love.

Visit our web site at www.stpaulsfay.org

Our Rule of Life

We aspire to...
worship weekly
pray daily
learn constantly
serve joyfully
live generously.

Lowell Grisham, Rector

St. Paul's Episcopal Church
Fayetteville, Arkansas