Why?

Wednesday, September 13, 2006 -- Week of Proper 18 (Cyprian of Carthage)

"Morning Reflections" is a brief thought about the scripture readings from the Daily Office of Morning and Evening Prayer according to the practice found in the Book of Common Prayer of the Episcopal Church.

Morning Prayer begins on p. 80 of the Book of Common Prayer.
Evening Prayer begins on p. 117
An online resource for praying the Daily Office is found at www.missionstclare.com
Another form of the office from Phyllis Tickle's "Divine Hours" is available on our partner web site www.ExploreFaith.org at this location -- http://explorefaith.org/prayer/fixed/index.html


Today's Readings for the Daily Office (p. 983)
Psalm 119:49-72 (morning) // 49, [53] (evening)
Job 29:1, 30:1-2, 16-31
Acts 14:19-28
John 11:1-16

Job's despair is among the most poignant passages that I know of. His suffering is total. There is the worldly anguish of having fallen from a place of respect to a place of ridicule and dishonor. There is the constant, unrelenting physical pain. There is the spiritual question, "Why?" He cries out to God for help, but hears only silence. He notes the irony. Throughout his life whenever he saw anyone in need, Job responded with generous compassion. Now as he cries for compassion and justice, God is silent.

I have known people to be broken by such unmitigated suffering. Yesterday I got word of the death of an old friend. He was a person who had endured more physical pain than anyone I have known. In his thirties he developed chronic back degeneration. He was disabled. By the time I moved away, he had endured a dozen back surgeries. Pain medications were either ineffective or addictive. His life was so constricted. I admired his courage and perseverance so much. I often wondered how he endured. I got word yesterday that he had taken his life. I believe he was in his mid 50's.

Although I recognize God is working to bring universal reconciliation and healing, God's timing is not mine, and I grieve for the collateral damage. In today's gospel reading, Jesus hears of Lazarus' deathly illness. Jesus postpones going to Lazarus for two days longer. Lazarus dies. Jesus will be greeted with, "If you were here, he wouldn't have died." We'll read over the next two days the anguished drama that leads to the resuscitation of Lazarus from death. Ironically, this event becomes the motivation for Jesus' enemies. From this moment, they determine to kill him. He will be hounded, tortured, and eventually crucified.

I don't understand the "why" of it all. Why do some people suffer so profoundly? Why is there no relief? Why no answer from God? Why no justice? In these dark mysteries I am often silenced. Some of that silence is grief and respect for those who carry such awful burdens. Some of that silence is raw hope that God will use such suffering as God used the cross of Jesus to bring resurrection and healing to the world, beyond our knowing. Some of that silence is the unknowing "why."

Lowell

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The Rev. Lowell Grisham
St. Paul's Episcopal Church
Fayetteville, AR