The Experience of the Holy

Wednesday, May 3, 2006 -- Week of 3 Easter

"Morning Reflections" is a brief thought about the scripture readings from the Daily Office of Morning and Evening Prayer according to the practice found in the Book of Common Prayer of the Episcopal Church.

Morning Prayer begins on p. 80 of the Book of Common Prayer.
Evening Prayer begins on p. 117

An online resource for praying the Daily Office is found at www.missionstclare.com
Another form of the office from Phyllis Tickle's "Divine Hours" is available on our partner web site www.ExploreFaith.org at this link -- http://explorefaith.org/prayer/fixed/index.html

Today's Readings for the Daily Office (p. 961)
Psalms 38 (morning) // 119:25-48 (afternoon)
Exodus 19:16-25
Colossians 1:15-23
Matthew 3:13-17

The Experience of the Holy

In Exodus we read of Moses and the people at the base of Mount Sinai when God came down upon the top of the mountain in smoke and thunder. Their sense of awe is palpable. To get too close would be to die. In Colossians we read of the growing sense of wonder that the early Church experiences reflecting on the experience of God as mediated through Jesus Christ. What they have experienced in his incarnation is one with God's creative presence at all times. And the Gospel recalls the baptism of Jesus when the heavens open and God declares him beloved.

From time to time I think each of us experiences the holy. I think every human being has sensed the presence of The More. The experience is so different from our ordinary consciousness, I'm not sure we are always able to appreciate such moments and treasure them. It's too easy to let them fade or to rationalize them as something so odd that we don't have reality categories to fit this into. Without categories, we can dismiss something penultimate as merely unreal.

There are times when contemplative prayer goes especially deep. In those experiences, "I" disappear. Any sense of my self as separate from the all evaporates. There is no experience of time. There is only everything. The only sense of having experienced anything comes as "I" emerge out of the state of "no-I." What is left is a deep sense of peace and connection with all that is. A calm gladness that feels completely rested, at ease, present, content with what is. It is like the echo of a fine vibration that continues in the background. There is an exhilarated "yes" underneath whatever may have happened.

If that is what it is to experience God, then it is exquisite. If that is what it is like not to exist, then it is fine with me. The experience is so self-authenticating, that it feels so much more real than ordinary life or ordinary consciousness. It seems like a peek at the reality that is below appearances. I can believe or hope that in the deepest reality, in God, all opposites resolve, everything is truly reconciled, and a joyful peace that passes all understanding heals and unites everything, even the horrors of this world.

But I don't know with full certainty that this is really real. It might be a trick of my imagination. Or just some odd brain chemistry. It might have no exterior reality beyond my brain. It would be easy to dismiss. There is nothing outside to authenticate, except the witness of religious mystic traditions. And they could all be as crazy and deluded as I am.

It is a choice for me to accept this experience as real, as an experience of the Holy. That choice changes my frameworks. It influences my interpretations. It grounds me in a faith in something more; something unifying and wonderful. Living out of that reality feels more alive than dismissing or forgetting that reality. If it is truly real, then life is more wonderful than I can imagine. If it's not, that's okay too. Just touching the possibility is fulfilling in and of itself.

Lowell
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The Rev. Lowell Grisham
St. Paul's Episcopal Church
Fayetteville, Arkansas